'I didn't dare to throw myself in' – Wout van Aert opens up about post-crash mental struggles from 2024 and how he bounced back

The first incident, in March 2024, saw him crash brutally at high speed, left in agonising pain on the tarmac with a broken collarbone and ribs. After finally returning to form at the Vuelta five months later and taking three stage wins, Van Aert was back, but a crash and DNF on stage 16 set him back again, this time with a knee injury.

But the most important setback was to his in-race courage, the kind needed to be in the optimal position at the biggest races. Speaking to Nieuwsblad in an extensive interview, after being nominated for their Flandrien of the Year award, Van Aert reflected on the high and low points.

"That was a problem all spring, I think. Not always, but at times. I didn't dare to throw myself in, and I was torn between being happy that I didn't crash, yet frustrated that I wasn't in position," said Van Aert to Nieuwsblad. "I found that just riding along didn't make me happy.

"After the Tour, I realised that again. We decided not to have a crazy autumn. A good decision in itself, but I rode a handful of races without pressure to perform, which meant I didn't reach my best level and just rode a bit.

"Sometimes I could help the team, sometimes not. In retrospect, I should have saved myself that, because I didn't really enjoy it. I now know for sure that racing for me is about reaching my highest level and giving it my all."

It is also a part of him getting older, with Van Aert now being a father to two children alongside his wife, Sarah, and this has meant that his positioning and methods perhaps aren't quite as bold as they once were.

The question from Nieuwsblad came after he spoke to The Athletic back in October and opened up about his previous crashes and the multitude of scars he's gained along the way.

"When you’re younger, when you’re 20 years old, you don’t even really think that you’ve been crashing," said Van Aert.

"It’s not even in the back of your mind. But then after a couple of injuries, you understand what it’s like. It’s normal that you carry this with you. Every injury gets more complicated, and it doesn’t help when you get a family and have children."

With this in mind, it was no surprise to hear Van Aert say he'd "maybe tried to force it too much" when it came to positioning this past spring.

"[But] it was better to let things happen naturally, not force them. The most important step was perhaps acknowledging that I might not be taking the biggest risks anymore and sometimes braking faster, without associating it with anything negative. I no longer enjoy taking unnecessary risks, but that's not a bad thing."

Ultimately, Van Aert did find his way again with his triumph on stage 9 of the Giro, beating Isaac del Toro (UAE Team Emirates-XRG) in a thriller into Siena, reliving the memories of his Strade Bianche win from five years prior.

"I wasn't at the start of that gravel stage with any sense that it could be my day." he said.

"My family was at the finish line, after not having seen them for about ten days. Siena is also where my road career began and where I've experienced some great moments. The racing conditions were also favorable, and I needed that, considering the legs I had, because I was absolutely not well.

"Sometimes I believe things are just meant to be. I can't describe the feeling. There aren't many victories that come close to that feeling. I get goosebumps just talking about it. Everything came together there."

After missing Strade Bianche and Milan-San Remo, to date still the only Monument he's won, for the past two years, Van Aert has already started talking about a return, saying "That's the intention" to the Flemish newspaper.

What followed the Giro in July was a 10th Tour stage and doing something no other rider had managed all year – dropping Tadej Pogačar – as he soared away from the GC winner in Montmartre to take another memorable victory in Paris.

"I assumed Pogačar wouldn't contest the final because the weather was bad and the times would be neutralised," admitted Van Aert

"As much as he loves racing, I thought, 'He's going to use his head, isn't he?' He seemed to be counting down the days beforehand, too.

"I still remember the moment I saw Pogačar next to me on Montmartre and it felt like a setback that he would be competing. Looking back, I'm incredibly happy he participated. It gave that victory so much more prestige."

Van Aert may have taken his fewest wins since 2018, but they were two of the most iconic victories of the whole season, and his career, so he's not forgetting to cherish them: "I also enjoy a victory much more [now]," he said. "There are fewer victories now, but I realise more how special they are."