Teniel Campbell blog: Courage

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Cyclingnews' newest blog writer Teniel Campbell hails from Trinidad and Tobago and races for Team BikeExchange. She started her career in professional road and track cycling following a full scholarship at the World Cycling Centre (WCC) in Aigle, Switzerland in early 2018. Teniel has achieved success with the WCC programme, Valcar-Travel & Service, and with her national team. She is now making her debut with the Women's WorldTour Team BikeExchange in 2021. You can follow Teniel on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook.

18:10, December 14, holding back tears, not knowing when life’s obstacles will pause and stop causes such an overwhelming feeling. My chimp is going crazy and is beginning to crash my computer.

A day off that doesn’t feel like a day off as you’re bugged down with admin. You think for 10 seconds, "I GOT THIS!” and then five minutes later you’re lying on the couch, on your third bowl of cold milk with chocolate crunchy muesli with the inclusion of a handful of Kelloggs in a medium-sized pink bowl; comfort food.

2020 was the year of many tears. You have cried enough and you don’t get to feel sorry for yourself. You must be strong, you must withstand, you must keep going, you must keep pressing on, and you must not quit!!! It will all be worth it in the end. It is a new “way of life” and nothing worthwhile comes easy. This is the life you dreamt and worked your tail off for, remember?

You repeatedly tell yourself this as you draw motivation from the courage of Paralympic athletes while watching “Rising Phoenix” on Netflix. Doh cry, just breathe and chill.

Somehow this “newness” reminded me of year one at the World Cycling Center in Aigle, Switzerland all over again. An entirely new system, environment and simply searching for a way to adapt to continue propelling forward. The only thing that changed was the weather, my courage to speak up and ask for help instead of quietly suffering while trying to figure out everything on my own until I cracked.

But a habit is a habit and sometimes it still lingers ...

Welcome to a piece of me.

I'm just a Caribbean kid from the islands of the Republic of Trinidad and Tobago on a quest to achieve her visions and goals while attempting to give back to her country and create pathways for the future generation of Trinidadian locals and Caribbean Cycling in the process.

Tomorrow makes it one month since I moved to my new base in Girona, Spain. I left Italy in a bittersweet way without closure. What awaited me two hours away, I had no clue, but for sure one thing I knew was that it was not going to be a bed of roses. After all, we are in charge of our destiny but not our fate.

... And as one of my favorite quotes goes: “Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal, nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.”

TC