Team TIAA-CREF - 2005

Team Journal Entry - September 22, 2005, by Will Frischkorn

You can eat anything!

I'll admit, I'm a bit of a foodie, so this should be taken with a flake or two of Murray River Sea Salt, but I think even my non-food-obsessed teammates will agree that at the Tour de l'Avenir we forced down some particularly unappetising food.

Over the course of the year we are force fed many micro hotels' race-organiser-paid-for meals twice daily - place emphasis on 'organiser paid'. These hotels realise that they will never see us again, unless it's for another race-paid meal, and their culinary creativity is of little waste on us. For the Tour de l'Avenir the race organisation (ASO, the same folks that run the TdF, Paris-Nice, Liege and many others) provided hotels with a menu of what we were to be served. When the e-mail containing this info hit my inbox I started thinking that this year the Tour de l'Avenir might be different. After years of these races why do I constantly keep that glass half-full?

Emailed menu for September 7th:

Carrottes 'Rapees'
Chicken Fried Steak
Fusilli AL DENTE with tomato sauce and grated cheese on the side
Green beens
Fromage blanc
Apple sauce
Water and a splash of wine

At the bottom of the menu is a note to the 'Chef' that goes something like this: "Eating well is of the highest importance for athletes. Creative, varied, appetising and food with an attention to lower fat preparation is encouraged. Use your imagination and substitute fatty matter for something less so. Fast service, one hour max, is also appreciated greatly." So, at first you might think, 'well, this could theoretically be an OK meal, stop being a whiner.'

Now, for my translation of that specific meal:

First: An entire plate (and not a small one mind you) of GRATED CARROTS! I'll admit, I dig a good carrot from time to time, but when was the last time you EVER grated up a handful, threw on some mustard vinaigrette and dug in with a fork.

Second: Think lunch lady gone bad. A piece of mystery meat (could have been chicken, but guesses at our table ranged from pork to dog) breaded and fried in canola (probably being hopeful there even) oil. Once your taste buds were singed by a gallon or two of hot sauce from our travelling food bin it was edible.

Third: I'm now convinced that there is a company that travels alongside races and delivers hefty black plastic bags full of pasta boiled beyond recognition to hotels a few hours before dinner, where it is then kept immersed in lukewarm water until service. Every evening on the menu, al dente was emphasised with either bold, italics, quotes or caps. I can't think of a night the entire trip where it couldn't be cut with the bottom of a spoon.

Fourth: Green Beans. There are few things that top a perfectly crisp, sweet, garden fresh green bean. These, however, were steamed (possibly boiled) beyond recognition and turned to a nice greenish brown shade. Needless to say any taste and all nutrients were gone hours before they saw our table.

Desert: Fromage Blanc and Apple Sauce. I'm a sick person, and for some reason enjoy fromage blanc, straight, no sugar or jelly added for flavor. However, for the sake of my teammates I'll acknowledge that this can be some pretty uninspired stuff. Think plain, whole fat yogurt thickened up a bit. Apple Sauce. Another item that can be amazing when made with fresh apples smashed through a food mill and seasoned with a bit of cinnamon and nutmeg, maybe even a splash of maple syrup. This stuff you wouldn't feed a baby - even the screaming one sitting behind me on the eight hour and forty-three minute flight home. Beyond Blah.

Water and Wine: This has the potential to be the best part of any race meal. Badoit, a French sparkling water is one of my favourites and I drink about a litre a night trying to displace room in my gut that could be occupied with food. Wine is probably one of my favourite things in the entire world. I love it. I wish it was non-alcoholic, but if you were to swing by my house most evenings you'd know it isn't. Unfortunately the wine that we're served at these races is rarely something I would even bring into my home. My girlfriend would most likely beat me with a rock filled decanter if I served it to her. Best guess at what we were served this evening: concord grape juice spiked with rubbing alcohol and a grind of pepper for complexity. I think I saw a box labeled 'Chateau Merde de la Terre.'

Now, the next time you think, 'those guys ride so much, they can eat anything' keep this column in mind and enjoy your home cooked meal that much more. Now back home in full recovery mode I'm trying to put that all behind me; off to the wine rack with a plate of cheeses and a good baguette in hand...

Eat, drink and be merry,
Will